If I could bottle a day...

If I could bottle a day, I would bottle this one.
Bitter but that’s my favourite flavour.
A sprinkle of sweetness
like the man waving good morning at me as we pass on an empty beach.
Bittersweet, for sure.

Earthy and filling.
Salty from plunging into stormy seas.
As though the weather knows our departure and is both mad about it and trying to ease our way out of it.

This day would taste deep and full and rich and probably just a little spicy.
I’m sure the recipe would be an old one
Written on paper that’s slightly curled at the edges.

And I think the more one drinks, the more wistful one would become.
There’d be quiet tear for places left behind,
as well as raucous laughter.
And I think there would always be half a glass left in the bottom,
in the hope one would get to taste it again - with the little grit of the sediment that comes with all bottles.
The settling of dust at the end of all days.

Always best drunk in front of the a fire in the arms of your lover after you’ve thrown yourself wildly into a winter ocean for just long enough that the air outside feels colder than the water itself.
Maybe listening to old jazz.
Feeling a little healthy melancholy,
the taste of goodbyes and the familiar curiosity of what’s to come next.

Ripening

It would seem
I have found myself again
in these past weeks,
in these passing days.

I have been growing
expanding up
stretching out
ripening
like a summer-vine tomato
ageing like an old French grenache
taking parts of myself off - to hold, scrub, to value again

I have found my voice anew
strong
with conviction
deep in timbre
mostly thoughtful
often whimsical

I have found my edges
with every walk along the beach
with every bath-ful that has escaped between my locks of uncombed hair
those edges have been sanded…and salted
and polished
And I think I like how they feel
Smooth
but unmistakable

I have plaited flowers through my sun-tipped hair
strummed old favourites with fingernails that refuse to stop growing

My shoulders are broader now too
I am taking up more space
endless days in the ocean
a daily, achey paddle out to our sanctuary

I have found new freckles on my nose
my shoulders
between my breasts and belly-button

New muscles
not just in my legs and arms
but in my hands from all that dough
in my fingers from holding new paintbrushes
in my sides from holding the man I love to my body in the early hours of the morning, before the sun is up
in my cheeks from all the home-grown laughter

My mind is full of poetry
old and new
I have sentences strewn across notebooks
words I’ve loved so much I’ve taken the time to write them down

Even the hard days have announced themselves
coming in with apologies
only to stay a day or two
bringing sun with the dawn of the day that follows

I have been
growing
expanding
ripening

I have been happy
oh, what an exclamation
I am happy to have been reacquainted with myself
my old friend