I lose myself in you daily
It is a practice of each day to pull myself away
Not apart
Just away
So that there Is a small crack
Maybe just enough for the light to shine through between us
Not a chasm but a crinkle of space
It feels easier, almost inevitable, that I become a reflection of you each day
Maybe a refraction
Always a form of light
It is the hours away that remind me
I whinge often of the past times you don’t enjoy
You don’t like walking
But me?
I can walk for days
I used to hate this difference in us
but I think I’m coming to see it is a gift
A strange and necessary gift
For it is in walking that things are solved
Solvitur Ambulando, as the latin reads
It is in the walking that my mind pushes itself out against its boundaries
In the music
In the speeches
In the thumping of my steps
The dancing of my heels
The twiddling of my toes in the sand, when I can
The deep inhales of sea air
The arms stretched wide to breathe it in to the roots of my lungs
This is when I greet myself again each day
A walking meditation of meeting my mind again
Introducing myself to my ideas, my shapes, my future and my ‘right now’
To work through my past
To envisage tomorrow
And it’s a Place I can tell you about but you can never come with me
And whilst I’d love to show you the nooks and crannies
The cursive poems that are only yet wisps of ideas
The drapes and vases
The flowers of my blooming mind
I am also me because you can’t come with me there
I love you
And I am more ‘me’ because loving you makes me find myself daily
So that we are two
And not just me as a reflection of you
All the miles that make me, me
Now also make you, you